Childhood labels, hidden trauma, and the question of destiny — are we shaped by nature, nurture, or the stories we tell ourselves?

Are we born to succeed or fail… or can we change the script?

❤️ Note to Listeners
Before we dive in, we want to pause. Colm’s beautiful wife Anne — his partner of 35 years — has sadly passed away. We are all devastated for Colm, Holly, Alex, and Anne’s wider family. It is with heavy hearts that we proceed with releasing this show. We felt it was important to keep going, to give us all something to focus our energy and attention on. We send Colm all our love and support, and we hope to have him back with Justin on the sofa next week. Justin, Rebecca, Beatrice and Terry. xx

In this week’s Not So Christian Brothers, Justin and Beatrice explore how childhood labels, trauma, and family dynamics shape our lives. From being called “the mistake” to surviving early surgery without anesthesia, Justin shares how pain fueled his drive — but also left deep scars.

💬 We discuss:
- Why labels like “the sporty one” or “the dumb one” can limit potential
- Trauma, grief, and how they drive addiction or workaholism
- Family roles, projection, and escaping boxes we’re placed in
- Managing expectations to avoid resentment in relationships
- Predestination vs. self-determination — is destiny fixed or fluid?

🎧 Watch on YouTube, Spotify Video, or listen on Apple Podcasts & all major platforms.

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⏱️ Chapters
00:00 – Sending Love to Colm
Opening with support for Colm and his family after Anne’s passing.
01:12 – Can We Change Our Destiny?
Introducing this week’s big question: nature, nurture, or choice?
05:16 – Growing Up as “The Mistake”
Justin shares how being labelled and living with dyslexia shaped his drive.
07:38 – Labels That Stick
How childhood labels — “the sporty one,” “the dumb one” — box us in.
10:02 – When Trauma Rewrites a Life
Beatrice recalls losing her father at four, and how it changed her path.
12:21 – Surgery Without Anesthesia
Justin connects his early trauma to workaholism, contrasted with a friend’s addiction.
14:38 – Labels and Identity
Rebecca on how being “the fun one” shaped (and limited) her identity.
16:13 – Family Narratives and Projection
Why families often keep us in the roles we had as children.
19:12 – What Others Think Is None of Your Business
Justin on resilience and letting go of outside opinions.
22:16 – Expectations and Disappointment
Why birthdays, love, and recognition often disappoint us — and how to change that.
24:42 – Hurt People, Hurt People
Why negative comments usually say more about the speaker than the target.
27:22 – Managing Expectations in Relationships
Beatrice explains how lowering expectations creates more peace at home.
28:48 – Are Our Lives Predestined?
Closing reflections: do we arrive where we’re meant to be, or are we constantly rewriting our story?
31:02 – Like, Subscribe & Follow
Closing thanks, with a nod to the Aftershow and Colm’s return.